9 th October - Preparatory Course

Egg Game
Participants were grouped together based on their gender in two groups. Each group formed a little circle with a volunteer in the centre. The volunteer had to fall over with his/her feet firmly planted on the ground. It was the responsibility of the group to ensure that the volunteer did not fall down. It was a trust exercise and all partcipants had a go at the exercise.

Resolving C onflicts
Christopher & Rachel conducted an interesting session on Confict Resolution. Christopher started off by exploring what a conflict really was all about. A conflict creates tension or discord. It is caused by real or believed opposition. It usually concerns the needs, values or interests of a person or a group of people. He got the participants to discuss what happened in a conflict in terms of physical as well as mental condition. He stressed the need to address conflicts. Otherwise they would get out of hand and create a point of no return for both the parties involved.
A conflict, he said, was the result of differences. One must celebrate the differences and realise that they provide opportunity to develop newer perspectives. However when differences grow and they are not addressed, they can turn into a conflict. He said there were three stages to a conflict - when the conflict starts, when the conflict grows and finally resolving the conflict. In a conflict one is basically addressing emotions and it is good to keep that in mind.
Very many conflicts can be identified and resolved through nonverbal communication. Body language can be a true reflection of what everybody is communicating. Studies show that 80% of our communication is nonverbal. They include eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, posture, body orientation, closeness and vocal expression.
Through role-play techniques he and Rachel set about creating different situations and also demonstrating tools and techniques about conflict resolution. The main aspects that came acrosss were when one stepped into the other person's shoes and approached the issue from there. That could help alleviate the conflict.
During the session Christopher announced an interesting exercise. During the days' session everybody would take turns being his interpreter. This way everybody would be on their toes and would be forced to listen very carefully. He asked the participants how they felt in a conflict. The responses were - irritated, angry, aggressive, tensed, nervous and a general indifference to other people. He then asked them why it was necessary to avoid a conflict. The responses were to avoid misunderstanding, decreased productivity, to avoid tension, to avoid affecting friendships, to avoid disrespect, as it creates insecurity and to avoid stress. He then asked the participants why they needed to address the conflict. The responses were - that would enable them to solve problems, would help maintain the relationship, help understand a point of view, they could learn from experience, it would prevent discrimination, keep people happy, and it would maintain better physical & mental health.
Three skills, he said that would help resolve a conflict when used together were a) Asking questions b) Showing understanding c) Saying your position. Questions like open-ended questions can make the beginning of a dialogue possible between two people ina conflict. It paves the way for basic communication to take place. Showing understanding provides an opportunity for empathy to establish. This provides the basis for conflict resolution. When you can state your position and be clear and share as to what is really affecting you or preventing you from functioning to your best potential then you are on the path to resolving your conflict.

Exploring Conflict
After tea, Christopher divides the participants into pairs and asks them to think of a conflict that they have had with a person in power and not to share it to their fellow participant. Then the participant becomes that person and reacts accordingly. The fellow participant has to guess who this person is by asking suitable questions and observing body language. This was an exciting game for the participants as they had great fun exploring the roles.

Quote for the day
It takes two to speak the truth. one to speak and one to listen.

4 Stage Communication Exercise
Participants were divided into pairs and asked to find their own space. One of them had to be a listener while the other would be a speaker. In the first stage of this game, the speaker would talk about a conflict from personal experience, while the listener would remain quiet and listen carefully. Then after a while Rachel would ring the bell which would signify the beginning of the second stage of the exercise. During this stage the speaker would continue talking about the conflict and this time the listener would ask good questions. In the third stage, the speaker would be quiet while the listener would reflect back what he/she has just heard. In the fourth and last stage, the listener would help the speaker with solutions to the situation. Once a pair went through one complete round they were then asked to switch roles where the speaker would become the listener and the listener would become the speaker.
The responses shared were interesting - 'I was feeling like a king', 'I remembered my wife. She is the speaker and Iam the listener', 'in order to give solutions shouldn't the listener be someone who has some experience about the subject?', 'it was difficult to listen and keep silent', 'I spoke about astrophysics and I was happy he didn't laugh'.

While resolving conflicts
- Pay attention to the person's feelings through the conflict.
- Do not show any disrespect at any point of time.
- Respect the identity of the person.

Spotlight
Mathana Aphaimool is from Thailand. She has been actively involved in Social work for the last 5 years. She finds the sessions 'very good and gives a big thanks to fk'. She says 'the activities are very entertaining' although she has a difficulty because she is not fluent in the language. Although she is homesick and misses her family and her pet dog a lot, she is happy about going to Nepal where she has her project. Her biggest dream is to help all the farmers in her village in organic farming. Her interests include trekking, rowing, basketball, geography, watching National Geographic. What does she hate? Nothing, really.

Nahyan Shahed Alam is from Bangladesh. He has just completed his BSc in Computer Science and got into his first job with an NGO when he got this opportunity to be a part of this project. He finds the entire training experience 'pretty good, the participatory group work method was completely new for me and I found it very interesting. I liked the way Christ College & FK took care of us. They were constantly taking our feedback and ensuring we were well'. He loves fast cars, travel, Cricket and has been wanting to learn the guitar although as he admits he has been quite lazy in that respect so far. He hates people who 'backbite' and absolutely can't stand hatred.

Anoop Kumar is from India. He has been working in social work for the last 4 years. About the workshop he says, 'I feel good, I have got clarifications for my idea of sustainable development and I have learnt how to cope up with stress. I found today's sessions especially very important. This is a good platform which provides great exposure to work in a new environment and culture and Iam looking forward to travelling to Sri Lanka for my project.' His biggest dream is to run his own NGO in the interest of the poor which will enable him to run multiple programmes that will help a person. He loves reading, watching cricket on tv, catching up on new practices that are followed in the development field. He hates hypocrisy and people who show disrespect.