Gender and Gender Relations
The day after the study visits, a dancing energizer, and a first aid session all participants seemed to be in high spirits. The penultimate day of the training program started with a session on gender & gender relations. The facilitator Dr Anitha from National Institute of Advanced Studies NIAS asked the group - 'what do you mean by gender?’ 'Is there a difference between sex and gender'? Gender roles should change depending on the changing situation. In most country laws, when carefully examined you will find a certain amount of gender discrimination. Stereotyping leads to discrimination, oppression and segregation.
Gender refers to relations between men and women. It is also the social meaning society gives. Gender relations are essentially relations of power. In all societies known to us, men and women have unequal power, and men, as a group, enjoy social and institutional power to command women's bodies, intellect, labour and fruits of their labour. Therefore gender relations are relations of conflict and not necessarily, nor obviously, harmonious or cooperative and are unlikely to be so as long as they remain unequal. Gender issues crop up primarily because the woman’s sexuality is the measure of family honor – if you want to dishonor a family you dishonor their women.
Three groups were formed to discuss gender issues in a variety of situations and present it to the rest of the class. Dr Anitha asked the participants to reflect on the norms for men and women at a) Home b) Office c) Public places.
From the discussion what emerged were the said and unsaid rules for women to move out of their houses, to go with an escort, to go with more than one escort etc. Examples from work places of participants were discussed with the ratio of men and women coming into focus. It was pointed out that negotiations for women in work related issues at the office seem to gain more strength if the number of women are more. Lack of mental and emotional strength from family and public places makes it challenging for the women to exert their viewpoint at the work place. Family problems, decision making, income sharing, distribution of income, choice of life partner, sharing responsibility etc all were viewed within the framework of personal experiences by the participants. Creating mental and physical spaces for women to participate was highlighted as the need of the hour. Dr Anitha asked participants to take a look at the stereotyping and ideology held by individuals and society with regard to gender.
To the question – Why do only women talk about gender? Dr Anitha mentioned, “if men talk, things will be easier”
Sujan Parajuli
An M A Sociology student from Chitwan, Nepal, Sujan is a man with a passion for organic farming. Describing himself as a farmer for the past 12 years he has already made three to four visit to India before. He finds the cultural diversity of the group very enriching and will be going to Hyderabad to work with Deccan Development Society. His aim is to go back to his farm and make it a resource centre and look at ways to save environment. A cricketer at heart his favourite player is Shahid Afridi. Sujan says he plays cricket regularly and is an all rounder and will be missing the game when he is working here.
Damayanthi Nandasena
A native of Sri Lanka Damayanthi is with the Green Movement there. For the past three years she has been promoting sustainable agriculture. “Marvelous” is the way she describes this training program as it is her first chance to interact with people from across 10 countries. She is traveling to Ilam in Nepal and has heard it is a beautiful place with misty mountains. Her aim is to look at income generating options through sustainable agriculture. A lover of music and handicrafts Damayanthi started off this journey thinking it would be easy, but finds it challenging especially because she misses her family.
Participants got together to make a presentation on their host country. After each of the presentations one person from that country add their “tips” on what they can expect when they reach their new home.
Who is my secret friend?
This long awaited moment finally arrived soon after lunch. A list of all 22 names was put on a board. Each one would come up and try to make 2 educated guesses about who their secret friend was, before this was revealed to them. People made some extremely clever deductions in getting their secret friend right – handwriting samples, spelling mistakes, confessions to neutral parties, spelling mistakes in letters and even guilty behavior! All of them then exchanged final gifts with their secret friends. One touching gift was Anita giving a silk scarf to Mathana – a Buddhist gesture signifying friendship. The excitement at discovering one’s secret friend was the apt finale to the 15 – 20 day long game.
Reliving the past and looking to the future
Sacha presented a slide of many beautiful photographs taken during the prep course – a reminiscing of the memorable past. He then showed a video of other people who are part of the South-South exchange already working in various host countries. He said that this would be their future – not a lonely one when you remember that there are a few thousand others like you who form the extended Fk family.
The Fk code of conduct
Respect for Human Dignity
Cultural Sensitivity
Security aspects
Environmental considerations
Corruption (against the practice of)
Confidence and good will
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